It has been a long year. And it is not yet over, but I am seeing it wind down now. Last night I put my son on a plane to return to China, where he works and lives. This marked the end of a very long party. But it also was the end of some other events along the way. The activity and tension levels have been very high all year, and this appears to be a turning point.
Last year, we (my daughter and many other people) started planning her wedding. My job was "details" and "surprises". There were many but mostly near the end. So the impact was not readily noticeable. I had lots of time to spend on my mother, and E's parents and sibbling. E's father's health collapsed in the spring and this pretty much started the ramp up of tensions. We spent lots of time with E's mom, and cleaning up some of the details with her, then we traveled to see his sister. It was a nice vacation, but it had considerable emotional stress connected to it. Work on the house, the yard, my mom, my business choice all started to complicate our time, plus the growing number of lists for the wedding.
Finally, the wedding shower kicked off the "rush" of activity. All the little house details that we had ignored became big issues. Then there was the "organization" of the wooly room. In October, my son arrived and all the "work" became meaningful. The family, my family, was gathering for the big day. And then the wedding happened. And it seemed to be over, but there was still so much to do. And then the visit ended. And as I look back, it seems like a fog of activity- so much you can't really see any one thing, but there is a lot of stuff in there.
Now, as my son is flying home to China, and I am recovering from a long night of driving, I am starting to melt into a soft puddle.
I started cleaning up the mess of the year long party, and I am very tired. Emotionally tired. Happy, but very tired.
I am looking forward to routine and dark, cold winter nights. I need to hibernate for a month.
Unfortunately, that is not what happens. What really happens is we have to get back to the work of living. So, the laundry is happening. The kitchen is happening. And all the activities of life are happening. But the fog is thinning, and I can see things more clearly.
I had a really good time, but I am glad it is slowing down. I want to spend time focusing on my home and husband. The party is over. Everyone- go home.